Afghanistan’s Gold: How the Taliban Gets it!

Afghanistan`s Gold

Here, we discuss…Afghanistan’s Gold: How the Taliban Gets it! Like many sovereign nations, Afghanistan had its vault of gold safely kept at The Federal Reserve Bank of New York (FRBNY). The Afghan government stored assets worldwide, with the gold bars in New York valued at approximately 1.3 billion. Another 4 billion is held in US treasuries and other USD-denominated assets. Compared to the money thrown around these days, 1.3 billion in gold is a paltry sum. Ultimately, it’s anyone’s guess where this small fortune goes; our speculation is it will not be pretty.

What could happen:

  • President Biden, in a generous mood, decides to give it to MLM…er ahh, you know BLM…
  • Hunter Biden, with Edward Norton’s and Mark Wahlberg’s help, sneaks into the FRBNY through the vent system and jacks it!
  • The gold is donated to The Barack Obama Library. Michelle complains it’s not enough!
  • “The Squad” sponsors a bill that earmarks the gold for reparations, which passes!
  • Andrew Cuomo is spotted loading the gold into a white Ford Bronco.

What should happen:

  • Give it to the Taliban in exchange for every American and TRUE American ally currently in harm’s way in Afghanistan immediately. The clock is ticking!! (Then bomb the hell out of them!)
  • Spread it evenly among the American Gold Star families who lost sons and daughters in Afghanistan.
  • Use it to build more walls on our southern border.
  • Give it to those whose businesses were looted and burned during the riots.
  • Start a scholarship fund for the children of police officers killed in the line of duty.

What will happen:

  • The Biden administration has the metals safely stored in US banks; enough said.
  • The gold is left on the tarmac at Hamid Karzai International Airport in exchange for the Taliban’s promise they won`t bomb our cities.
  • The gold will be used for new housing for the millions illegally crossing our southern border.
  • The gold will beef up Cori Bush`s security detail.
  • Nancy Pelosi buys a lot of ice cream!


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